As I was landing in NYC at JFK Airport yesterday, I was shocked to hear that my favorite TV pitchman, Billy Mays, had died. Talk about a salesman. I can honestly say that I have bought, or thought about buying every item that he has sold. Some have been lifesavers (Oxiclean), and some have been duds (sticky lights), and some still sit in my drawer waiting to be used (magic green adhesive aka Mighty Putty). I always joked though that I would buy anything that man sold! And I've been teased many times for it too! Ha! So here are a few of my favorite items hocked by the famous salesman:
Hercules Hook
These little fish hook looking guys are said to hold up to 150 lbs. They also seem super easy to install. Only three easy steps! O Billy, you make everything seem so simple, and necessary for me to buy! AND if you call now you'll get double the hooks for the same great low price PLUS a laser leveler which you totally didn't need, but is FREE so you are super excited to get it anyway! Ahhh I love infomercial gimmicks...
Mighty Mendit/Mighty Putty
I don't know which came first, the Mendit or the Putty, but does it really matter? They are problem solving necessities! I bought the play doh looking Mighty Putty. It seems magical really. BUT #1 What is it made out of that gives it it's magical powers, and #2 how do I get it off the wall when I want to move? If only Billy could tell me... I guess this is why I haven't used it yet.
Big City Slider
I WANT THIS PRODUCT! Yes I am infatuated with the Big City Slider Station. I could make White Castle's in my own home. Then I'd never have to leave! If only they'd invent a mystical machine that creates those little tiny buns...
Awesome Auger
I have no idea what this product actually does except it sounds like an adorable little animal, and it's apparently attached to a drill, which is cool.
What Odor?
I swear. That wasn't me that time! Ha! This spray is supposed to get rid of ANY smell. On the commercial they even show a little chihuahua leaving his bed, followed by a green funk cloud. One spray, and that puppy bed is smelling good. I wonder if this works for the dogs who don't like to take baths? Or humans for that matter... you know, just for touch-ups.
Handy Switch
I have always wondered why I couldn't have a light switch wherever I wanted. Now I can. This is an upgrade from the clapper because nothing says "this better turn on" like an actual switch. It's like insurance for your lamps. I'm thinking of putting one in my car and hot wiring it to my ignition. That would be AWESOME! Thank you Billy...
Samurai Shark
Look at this thing! You need this! As you can see from the picture above, if you don't buy this product, you will have your hand cut in half with dangerous scissors! I hate to burst your bubble, but this is a knife sharpener, not a shark with mini samurai swords and judo-chop skills like you'd hoped. We can always dream though...
OxiClean
EVERYONE has used Oxiclean. This magical powder allows me to clean up after myself. I'm kind of like pig pen. you can always tell where I've been during the day and what I've eaten by looking at my shirt... "Oh, it looks like someone had ice cream today!" Ha. There is no denying that. Thank you Oxiclean for making it easier to cheat on my diet.
Billy! You will be missed. Thank you for selling me things, and thank you also for never wearing one of those fake headsets.
No comments:
Post a Comment