The Ice Cream dilemma

Here's the problem. I love ice cream. I mean love it. I come from a state that for some reason is synonymous with all things dairy/cow/farm, which is ironic because I know nothing about any of them, and when people find out I'm from Ohio it is automatic that they think I am a farmer's daughter, live on a farm and have a cow. No. I know nothing about cows or milk processing or teats etc. And as a funny little side note, when Ohioans are deciding on the names of sports teams, some idiot always brings up The Columbus Cows as their genius solution to the mascot/team name conundrum. Nice. We already have a nut as a mascot, lets stay away from a harmless heifer. We need no more kindle for that fire...

So the reason I bring this up, is not to get off topic already, but just to prove that I come from a place that knows ice cream, okay? We have the usual Baskin Robbins, Dairy Queen lot that everyone else has, but we also bring a few other unknowns to the table. At least they are unknown in NYC. Graeter's, Velvet, Knight's, United Dairy Farmers. People in Ohio are probably reading this like, "UDF? She did not go there." Well I did. I would totally settle for some UDF cookies and cream, or a malt at this point.

I wander around town, searching for the perfect scoop, and so far I have come up short every time. I tried the Tasti D Lite...it's soft serve. I tried the gelato cart...it's foreign. Then I tried the Pinkberry. It can't be bad. Everyone loves it. The cast of Gossip Girl is there like every week! Man was I duped! That is not real ice cream my friend. In fact, it is not even real frozen yogurt! It's frozen ice milk cleverly disguised as fro-yo with its frilly toppings. Where's the ice cream? Like on a cone! Ahhh!

WARNING:Do not be fooled by the delicious looking decoy above...

So my search goes on. I just know that in a place where I can find 563 Thai restaurants and 76 different types of burgers, that somewhere a REAL ice cream place is hiding, waiting for the Ohio girl to taste the wares...