Land of the Lost

It was nearly midnight, and I was so tired. I cleaned my whole room last night, and unpacked my luggage finally from the last two weekends I have been gone. I look down, and there it was. My David Yurman Black Onyx ring that I lost in December. It was peeking out from underneath my night stand, just waiting to be back on my finger. I lost it one drunken night in December, after making new "best" friends at the Irish Pub below my apartment. And you know what you do with best friends... shots of Jameson's Irish Whiskey of course. Ack! Now wonder I lost my favorite ring! So this made me wonder... Where do lost things go? Do they have a little land that they go to occasionally just to drive you crazy? Was my ring hanging out with the lost left socks, car keys, and mismatched earrings of the world? Was it playing bridge and just decided that now would be a good time to show back up? Because I KNOW that all of that searching, and worrying, and looking online for new rings was not in vain. It couldn't have been less than a foot away from me every night for the last five frickin' months!

I have taken the liberty to draw you a diagram...

Doesn't losing things drive you nuts!?! Especially expensive things that you bought. There's is nothing worse than working hard and scrimping and saving to buy something that you absolutely LOVE, and then losing it and having to buy another, pretty much paying double for just that one item. I've decided I'm insuring everything!

By the way.. Thank you St. Anthony, you saved me again. Please come back when I lose my house keys...We all know that this will happen.

The Ice Cream dilemma

Here's the problem. I love ice cream. I mean love it. I come from a state that for some reason is synonymous with all things dairy/cow/farm, which is ironic because I know nothing about any of them, and when people find out I'm from Ohio it is automatic that they think I am a farmer's daughter, live on a farm and have a cow. No. I know nothing about cows or milk processing or teats etc. And as a funny little side note, when Ohioans are deciding on the names of sports teams, some idiot always brings up The Columbus Cows as their genius solution to the mascot/team name conundrum. Nice. We already have a nut as a mascot, lets stay away from a harmless heifer. We need no more kindle for that fire...

So the reason I bring this up, is not to get off topic already, but just to prove that I come from a place that knows ice cream, okay? We have the usual Baskin Robbins, Dairy Queen lot that everyone else has, but we also bring a few other unknowns to the table. At least they are unknown in NYC. Graeter's, Velvet, Knight's, United Dairy Farmers. People in Ohio are probably reading this like, "UDF? She did not go there." Well I did. I would totally settle for some UDF cookies and cream, or a malt at this point.

I wander around town, searching for the perfect scoop, and so far I have come up short every time. I tried the Tasti D Lite...it's soft serve. I tried the gelato cart...it's foreign. Then I tried the Pinkberry. It can't be bad. Everyone loves it. The cast of Gossip Girl is there like every week! Man was I duped! That is not real ice cream my friend. In fact, it is not even real frozen yogurt! It's frozen ice milk cleverly disguised as fro-yo with its frilly toppings. Where's the ice cream? Like on a cone! Ahhh!

WARNING:Do not be fooled by the delicious looking decoy above...

So my search goes on. I just know that in a place where I can find 563 Thai restaurants and 76 different types of burgers, that somewhere a REAL ice cream place is hiding, waiting for the Ohio girl to taste the wares...

FLEET WEEK!

Hello there sailor...

If you didn't know it's Fleet Week here in NYC, then you probably haven't been watching the news. The sailors are EVERYWHERE! I work with the Army, but have been helping out the Navy a little bit this past week. they did a few castings for TV shows, and one for GQ magazine... hey it's a hard job someone has to do it! ha! I got to smooze with the local media, and help arrange for ship tours and interviews with local sailors from NYC. On top of the garage next to the ship was a great view of the Iwo and the Canadian ship coming in. Man the rails!

The Canadian ship:


I also got to tour the USS Iwo Jima myself, which was awesome. The most stressful part about the tour was boarding the damn ship. You have to ask for permission to board and show your ID, then you have to salute the ensign, which is not a person, but the flag on the front of the ship. This was confusing for me. How can you see the flag? Do you just pretend? Why do they call the flag and the lowest ranking officer the same thing? Hmm. Next we will be saluting butterbars. Once we got inside, and swam through a crowd of Marines on the bottom deck, we got to see the amphibious vehicles in its port, a Holitzer, SAW and various other vehicles and weapons. I wanted to put on all the flak gear, but I was the only female in sight, was wearing a skirt, and didn't want to draw attention to myself when I toppled over in Marine gear.. hmmm.

After visiting the Marines, we went upstairs, which weren't stairs but a huge ramp, and saw the chow hall (or whatever they call it) and a few offices where some of the sailors work. Then my favorite... THE FLIGHT DECK! You know I spied that Herrier and Ospry right away. I waited all day to climb aboard and scope out the goods (the aircraft of course!) Yes, as we approached the Ospry, the Navy PAO (O-3) saluted the Marine Sgt. Ha! He was wearing a flight suit, so the Navy guy just assumed he was an officer. Hilarious. Anyway, the guys were so nice, and very insightful about the aircraft. So as if I didn't already have ill feelings about the Navy PAO who saluted the Sgt, he insulted me. Sheesh. I was standing there on the flight deck, and a Marine Capt came up and I was asking him about the Ospry (my favorite) and the Navy PAO said, "I don't know if she likes the plane or the pilots around it." If I had laser beams coming out of my eyes, I would have seered him right in half! Can't you have a conversation with someone without it being like that!?! Geez. At least I can read rank!

However, that guy is not from my office. I love the Navy peeps in my office, in fact they invited me to FREE Mojito Tuesday. I don't know what that is, but it sure sounds fun!

Fleet Week is almost over! Maybe now we can get some things done!!!

What Not to Wear

There are millions of people in NYC, so occasionally you are bound to see someone wearing something ridiculous. Exhibit A:

Yes people. That is a leopard "outfit". A suit of wild kitty if you may. And the best part of it was that the prints of leopard didn't even match! The funniest part was while we walked behind this wild jungle animal, a whole bench of men on their lunch breaks did a double take dominos style when she strolled by. I totally called them out on it too. Too funny. You know I sent that pic to Glamour magazine's Don't section...

I have decided that from now on I am going to take more secret pictures of people wearing things they should NOT be wearing. Just for a laugh. And to be fair, if you see me wearing a leopard suit, you may take a picture as well, because turn about is fair play, and a little leopard goes a LONG way... meow!

FREE!

Ya, I bet you're reading now! Everyone loves free. It's almost as if whatever word comes behind the word free is irrelavant. It could be FREE tickets or FREE coffee or FREE banana flavored bubble gum, and people still wouldn't care. FREE is free, and free is a good thing.

Today I am trying to give away free tickets to Soldiers for the local MLS game on the 24th. How overwhelming! I put an email out with FREE in it, and the response is insane. I could be giving away Q tips and still get a response! I know what I'm going to do. I'll just put FREE in the subject line of all my emails from now on. Kind of like this:

Subject: FREE
Email content: You need to come to this meeting at 8am.

OR

Subject: FREE
Email content: I need to borrow $20.

Imagine how much work I could get done! It will be amazing, but now I've ruined it because you know what I'm up to! Crap....


Here is a picture of a lion-dog that I just received. He looks ferocious! Raaar-woof!

Next time you want to whine...

I have noticed an epidemic lately. Okay, maybe it's just me. I have been consistently whiny, and it is not helping me at all. My poor boyfriend. I will be having a conversation, and all of a sudden it will turn into a "poor me" situation. Yes, I am at an awkward stage where I am pretty much transient, and don't know where I will be living or working next year. Yes, I miss my friends and family. Yes I miss my dog.

Just when I was thinking that things weren't going my way, and it could not get any worse, I stumbled upon this article. I highly suggest reading it. Connie Culp was the victim of a failed suicide-murder attempt by her husband. She is also the world's first face transplant recipient. The attack left her without the ability to see, smell or smile. After a gunshot wound to the face, you would think she would be moping around, hiding from the world. Who would want to exist in a place where children thought you were a monster, and all of your normal functions were taken away from you? Who could deal with the enhanced pressure of living in a society you once fully partook in, and now you have to change the way you do everything because your husband shot you? This woman is amazing. She has forgiven her husband. Forgiven him for shooting her in the face! Her story is an inspirational reminder to forgive, to love and to live. Reading her story has also taught me to be thankful. Thankful for my family and friends, for the ability to smell and see and live the way I want to live. She has also served as a friendly reminder to stop whining, and start making things happen for myself. Thank you Connie!