DC snow globe

You would probably think that living in a winter wonderland would be amazing. It's kind of like a shaken up snow globe with magical little snow flakes drifting through the water colored landscape of our nation's capital. Little children are making snowmen and engaging in playful snowball bouts. Dogs are frolicking in the white powdery drifts while their human counterparts sip on hot cocoa and various wine products around the crackling fire.

Here's the real deal: This sucks! Day 5.5 snowed in, and the natives of DC snow globe land are getting restless. Steve's quaint little neighborhood has turned into a parking space battleground as neighbors fight for the last spot not taken by mounding snow piles. Apparently 25 percent of the snow plows here are broken, with another 25 percent being 2-wheel drive and it didn't seem that they were being used appropriately when they were in peak working condition. The children have giving up on hot cocoa and snow balls, and they have now turned to complete boredom. The dogs are still frolicking, but I think ours is losing her mind. I caught her licking a bare wall this morning. "The snausberries taste like snausberries!" If doggie cabin fever exists, she is definitely a victim.

Living in a snow globe is officially over rated! The radio stations and news personalities have run out of clever puns abut the storm. I am running out of board games to play, and the wine supply is getting low. I have made every type of snow creature and structure, and climbed the biggest snow mound in the the neighborhood! Every episode of crummy reality television has been watched, and I even caught myself watching TV Land's "High School Reunion"! The madness has set in, and I have aged 40 years, now putting together a 750 piece puzzle of the New York skyline. (I can't wait to finish it. It glows in the dark!)

As a child, I sometimes prayed for a snow day, but now I find myself praying to go back to work! Please send wine...

Snowpocalypse

As the Chicken Littles of the DC Metro area descended into every grocery store and bought every loaf of bread possible yesterday I realized something... What the heck are they freaking out about? And how exactly is bread going to help? I knew I was in trouble when my friend Josh referred to the previous 4 inches we got earlier in the week as "the last snow storm". This one would be significantly bigger. It makes me thankful that I am from the great state of Ohio where the snow plows run free, and the counties don't go into a state of complete panic over a little snow. Yes, I know. This is not going to be a little snow. But it certainly is not a reason to act as insane as some of my DC brethren these last few days. I chatted with a Floridian friend the other day,and was asking her about hurricanes. She said that this reminded her of the reactions of people down south when a big storm is coming. So can't we react the same? Can't we hold one of those "hurricane parties" I hear so much about? I know I will. I will be here my friends, holed up in my apartment with a bottle of Ketel One and my lengthy unwatched DVR recordings.

Now, I have to admit something. I bought bread. I walked into Trader Joe's yesterday, and the chaos and R.E.M's "End of the World" playing on the store's speakers broke me down into the groupthink mentality. I snagged the last 12 grain on the display and rushed out of the store victorious. And as I returned home with my prize I realized I didn't even need it. I already had a loaf and a half sitting on my shelf.

What I am upset about is that they were out of sleds! How am I supposed to dog sled race with no sled? I hear trash can lids work just fine...