A Toby Keith story

There I was... no shit... in Baghdad last year doing my necessary duty, which at the time included escorting a fine group of young men around Iraq to see where their fates were changed forever. An organization called "Troops First" out of Maryland, brought wounded warriors back to Iraq to see the very place they were injured and their lives changed forever. I had the honor of assisting with their visit.

The Troops' visit happen to coincide with the visit of one well-known country bad boy... Toby Keith. Toby was in town for a concert with the troops, I'm pretty sure his last visit to Iraq.

So there we were, hanging out on the back patio of the building where both the Troops and Toby were staying, Toby was mingling with the Troops, and I was being harassed by the personal security detail for having what could possibly be the dirtiest 9mm in Iraq, and we heard it. Three loud thumps echoed over the lake in front of us. We all knew what it was. Just then the sirens went off, and we all rushed inside, helping those that needed help along the way. The staff of the building rushed us all into a few bathrooms that were designated shelters to wait for the all clear.

As the adrenaline wore off, and I got a moment to look around my bathroom, this is what I saw: two Soldiers, my battle buddy Addie, various band members sprawled across the latrine, sink and bath tub, and Toby Keith himself standing directly next to me. I had to take a second glance, but it was definitely him. Scruffy and farmer's tanned and the most normal looking redneck guy you ever did see. It was surreal. After a few minutes of extremely awkward silence trapped in that bathroom, Toby broke the silence:

TK: So does anyone know any good songs?

Battle buddy: Well, she (pointing to me) sings Lady Gaga karaoke really well.

Me: Umm..
TK: You better get in that shower girl and sing some Gaga!

Me: I'm sorry, sir, I think I'm going to pass.

Thanks a lot Addie! I totally got thrown under a huge bus! After approximately 5 more minutes of silence, Toby again decided to spice things up.

TK: So after this concert, maybe you ladies can come back and rub my feet. They are killing me.
Me: I'm sorry sir, we don't know each other THAT well.


After this whole exchange, I have decided that Toby has the best sense of humor. I knew that he had some funny songs, and he is always funny in his videos, but he really did have the ability to read the (bath)room and know we needed some laughs.

I will never forget being trapped in a bathroom in Baghdad with Toby Keith and his crew. He put on a great show that evening, and even spurred a photo that will live in infamy... The boot salute. (See below)